High-Functioning Burnout: “I’m Fine” Really Isn’t Fine
Burnout may not actually look like we are falling apart. We can still work, parent, exercise, and meet our responsibilities while running on fumes. In fact, we may even be so good at pushing beyond the stress that we remain extremely productive, are perfectionists, are controlling, and are constantly staying busy. We are deceptively high-functioning.
It may look like we are holding it all together on the surface but the truth is that it is that the allostatic load - the cumulative “wear and tear” on our bodies is all but productive. And it’s certainly not sustainable.
Let’s dive into this. Let’s take a look at how we can still be functioning yet not be well, and what this looks like in men vs. women.
Why Burnout Is Not Sustainable
Prolonged stress is considered chronic, and our bodies will show the effects of it. Just a few examples of how chronic stress manifests in our bodies:
Sleep is disrupted
Recovery is impaired
Energy levels change
Mood and emotions are hard to regulate
We experience brain fog, memory problems, and difficulty concentrating
Immunity and cardiovascular health are altered
These are just a few examples of how chronic stress can wreak absolute havoc on us physically and emotionally. From a functional wellness perspective, the question goes beyond, “How stressed are you?” Instead, it asks, “How well are you recovering from stress?”
Why High-Functioning Leads to Missing Warning Signs
Just because a dramatic breakdown may not have occurred doesn’t mean that our body isn’t under strain. Normalizing the way we feel in a stressed state often contributes to a misconception that we should be able to “weather” chronic burnout. And burnout looks different in men and women. Let’s take a look.
What Research Suggests
Biological sex, sex hormones, gender roles, and social expectations can all influence stress physiology and coping.
Women may be more likely to experience:
Emotional exhaustion
Feeling responsible for others’ needs
Greater impact of caregiving responsibility
Inability to mentally “switch off”
Increased sensitivity to stress
Men may be more likely to experience:
Anger over open expression
Withdrawal
Suppression of emotional symptoms
Changes in motivation or libido
Dismissal of physical manifestations such as “just getting older”
When it comes to the hormone-stress connection, women may experience changes in their reproductive hormone systems. Perimenopause and menopause can make previously manageable stress feel significantly different.
Men can experience disruption of the HPA axis and other endocrine pathways when chronic stress is present. Sleep, metabolic health, body composition, exercise, and psychological stress can all intersect with testosterone and overall vitality.
Hormones don't exist in isolation. They interact with the nervous system, sleep, nutrition, movement, and environment. Burnout from chronic stress can influence all of these systems.
Messages We Send Ourselves
When stress is high, there are some beliefs that can keep us stuck in burnout mode. We say things to ourselves like:
"Everyone needs me."
"I should be able to handle it."
"I'll rest when everything is done."
"Taking care of myself is selfish."
"I just need to push through."
"It's not that bad."
"I don't need help."
"Work harder and it'll get better."
"I should be able to handle this."
During burnout, we may hold onto thoughts like these and think that if we just “power through” and ignore our body’s signals,we can get through it. But there's really no strength in trying to ignore those signals. There’s strength in recognizing when the stress pattern isn’t sustainable.
What Recovery Actually Looks Like
When we think of recovery, we may think a vacation will fix things. And while that certainly does provide some relief, we eventually come back to “real” life and need to have daily strategies for avoiding burnout. On a daily basis, this may look like:
Adequate nourishment
Regular movement
Time outdoors
Breathing regulation
Social connections
Weekly strategies may involve:
Unscheduled time
Recreation
Connection
Decreased screen time
And in the long-term, we can:
Try to identify the source of the stress
Change unsustainable expectations
Address any underlying health concerns
Build resilience over tolerance
Final Thoughts
Burnout may seem inevitable at one point or another in life. There are seasons of high stress that create chronic health issues. The goal isn't to eliminate every source of stress. It's to create enough capacity, regulation, nourishment, connection, and recovery that your body isn't forced to remain in survival mode.
Remember, Your body isn't working against you. It's communicating with you.
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